Phoenix
by ACE329
Summary: Life after the Sennen Items has been complicated. Ryou has decided to see a therapist, as he struggles to come to terms with his own inexplicable misery. Despite the "new and different" life Ryou has arranged for himself, he can't quite forget about the twisted and destructive spirit that used to be the very center of his existence.
1. Burn

Phoenix

By: ACE329

Summary: Life after the Sennen Items has been complicated. Ryou has decided to see a therapist, as he struggles to come to terms with his own inexplicable misery. Despite the "new and different" life Ryou has arranged for himself, he can't quite forget about the twisted and destructive spirit that used to be the very center of his existence.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh!

A/N: This is a sort of sequel to "Chains," although it's not necessary to read that story beforehand. And now for a couple warnings:  
-There is shounen-ai in this story. And Ryou has to come to terms with his sexuality in this story. You have been warned.  
-There is some profanity (f-bombs included)  
-There is an original character (for which I apologize, but I reasoned she was necessary in order for Ryou to have an "epiphany" moment)

Lastly, I hope you feel that this story gives Ryou as much closure as I felt it did.

Phoenix

"_A phoenix is a mythological bird that obtains new life by rising from the ashes of its predecessor."_

Part One—Burn

Ryou Bakura never had the best father, but for the most part, he was okay with that. Ryou was just the typical "latchkey child," always coming home to empty halls and shadows. He essentially raised himself, soothed by the sounds of the TV and radio, which were always turned on the second he arrived home. Silence unnerved him—somehow it seemed _louder_ than actual noise. But Ryou never complained, and certainly never asked for anything from his father. For that, his father was grateful.

So the day of Ryou's high school graduation, when he asked his father for therapy as his graduation gift, his father just couldn't say no.

Ryou's father remembered every detail of that conversation.

"I've never asked anything of you," Ryou said in his smooth, placid voice, "but I'm asking you now. Please. And after this, I'll never ask anything of you again."

The aging man looked into his son's hollow, exhausted eyes. Although their relationship had been lukewarm at best, somehow it worsened the day Ryou had returned from his trip to Egypt. Something had changed. Ryou could hardly be considered the same person anymore. A light had gone out of Ryou's eyes, and he just seemed _empty_.

Therapy was expensive, but perhaps it was the guilt of his continuous and extended absences that made the father nod as he clapped his son's shoulder.

"Of course."

* * *

Ironically, therapy wasn't exactly at the top of the list of things Ryou wanted. It was never something he planned on looking forward to. But over time, as the demons from his past continued to haunt him, Ryou had to concede defeat. Sometimes, "mind over matter" wasn't good enough. Sometimes, one couldn't fight a battle alone.

"Well, where to begin?" Ryou said speculatively. He raked his fingers through his tangled, unwashed hair. (He didn't quite care to think about how many days it had been).

The teen was sitting in a pseudo-comfy chair residing in the therapist's office. The chair was a fraud, Ryou thought, because it evidently had some padding, yet the material comprised of a stiff, unrelenting fabric. It pissed him off. He shifted in his seat irritably.

"Begin by telling me what bothers you the most, if you can," the therapist, Dr. Hikoru, suggested. "Or maybe begin…by telling me what you're feeling."

"I feel _nothing_," Ryou said. He shifted in his seat again. "But maybe I want to. I don't know." He paused. "I haven't been able to sleep for three days now. Not by choice."

"Okay. And why do you think that is?"

"Nightmares." Ryou looked down at his hands. "When I sleep, I always go back to the same place. And I don't want to. I would like my brain to give me a break, let me forget about it, and just move on. So I can be normal." Normalcy had always been a foreign concept to Ryou. He always felt there was an invisible wall, always separating himself from the outside world.

The therapist looked up from her notepad. "Can you specify what you mean when you say you want to forget about 'it'? It seems like your dreams are replaying a memory, perhaps?"

Slowly, Ryou nodded. Irresistibly, his mind was reeling back to his dreams, back to a moment in his past, and before he realized it, his mind was no longer in the therapist's office, but in a dark, dilapidated burial ground.

* * *

It was embarrassing, really, that Ryou proved to be such an inconvenience for his friends. It was the day they put the Sennen Items to rest, the much-anticipated "Emancipation Day" when Ryou was supposed to be free from the malicious spirit that burdened his life. He should have been out in the desert, with his friends, whooping and cheering and joking around, all to prove he was relieved that the spirit of the Sennen Ring was gone.

Except that wasn't what happened. In a fit of deliria, Ryou broke away from his friends and ran back to the cave where the Sennen Items were buried. He tore through rocks and dirt with his bare hands, disregarding the sweat (and yes, tears) that clouded his vision. Ryou was unsure how much time had passed before he finally—_finally_—found what he was looking for. Ryou delicately picked up the muddied Sennen Ring, and, with shaking hands, put the Ring on.

But nothing happened. Ryou waited for a familiar glow to spread throughout the Ring, he waited for the usual sensation of warmth to fill his body, but the only thing he felt was the dull coldness of metal against his skin.

"Spirit," Ryou said aloud. "_Bakura_." The deafening silence rang in his ears. He shut his eyes, finally sinking down. He stayed that way until the pounding in his head stopped and his mouth stopped tasting like vomit and his hands stopped shaking.

At that point, Ryou was unsure how much time had passed before his friends came to retrieve him. He must have drifted off into an exhausted sleep, because he didn't have enough time to hide the Ring from his friends' sight before they shook him awake.

"Bakura—hey! What the hell, man?" It was Jounouchi. He looked pissed, but mostly confused, just like everyone else. He shook Ryou again.

Ryou said nothing in response. He wondered what his friends were thinking as he stared into their faces.

"Why is _this_ in your hand?" Honda gestured towards the Ring. "What have you been doing this whole time? We've been looking for you for a while, but we figured this was the last place you'd be."

"Why would you run off like that?" Otogi demanded. "Do you realize we have a flight to catch?"

"Gimme that," Jounouchi said, grabbing for the Ring. "This belongs in the ground, preferably in hell."

That was when Ryou lost his senses. Within seconds he became this irrational, shrieking monster, screaming _NONONONONONO_ repeatedly while sobbing and flailing and smacking away anyone who tried to reach for him, reach for his Ring, and he didn't care how ridiculous he looked, he just wanted them all away, far enough away so they could never reach out and grab what had suddenly become so precious to him.

But he calmed down finally when he felt a gentle hand at his back. It was Anzu. "Okay, Bakura," she said soothingly. "You can hold onto it." She silenced Jounouchi and Honda when they began to protest. "It won't do any harm now." Ryou kept his head lowered, his face burning with shame.

Yuugi was staring at Ryou with an unreadable expression. "This wouldn't be healthy, what you're doing," he finally said. "It wouldn't be right. They are _never_ coming back, and you, Bakura, of all people, why would you even wish it? The spirit who was inside the Ring didn't care about _you_, he didn't care—" Yuugi cut himself off and looked away. He exhaled deeply and turned away. "I think we should go now." There was a faint tremor in his voice. Solemnly, everyone nodded and for the final time, left the cave.

"He must have been _extremely_ dehydrated," Ryou heard Honda whisper to Jounouchi a little while later. They both darted a glance in Ryou's direction. "I still think he's lost his mind."

In the end, Ryou figured that it would just be easier to let them think he was dehydrated, or crazy, or both.

It was just easier than to explain that somehow, somewhere along the way, Ryou had formed an inexplicable, irrevocable connection with the very spirit that had destroyed his life.

* * *

In the therapist's office, Ryou finally glanced up to meet Dr. Hikoru's eyes. "Sorry." He was aware he had zoned out for a moment. "Are we still talking about my dream?"

There was the sound of pen scratching against paper. "Yes."

Ryou had wondered how he would communicate to any normal person about his experience with the Sennen Items. In most cases, Ryou figured he would be diagnosed with insanity, and it would at least earn him a couple months' time in some nuthouse. Probably.

It was just too much work, Ryou decided, to be entirely truthful. "I dream about the last day I ever saw my…" His what, exactly? "…My best friend." Ryou cringed at his own words. What a joke. "He just decided he was sick of me and disappeared for no reason."

"For no reason? And you have no clue why?" Dr. Hikoru stopped writing to observe Ryou carefully.

"Because I'm antisocial, boring, and depressed?" A ghost of a smile curved Ryou's lips. _And because Bakura's spirit is buried with the dead after losing a magical battle involving ancient Egyptian artifacts. That makes total sense. _

"So you seem to take blame for losing this friendship," Dr. Hikoru noted.

"Not sure…" Ryou paused. "But my friend…really wasn't my friend."

"I don't follow you."

"I mean…he wasn't the nicest person. He was egocentric, and rude, and he really didn't give a crap about me." Ryou shrugged. "He was a jerk."

"But you just said he was your best friend."

"I miss him. I guess." Ryou looked down. He felt accomplished for being able to admit this. But this was also because the woman did not know whom he was referring to. Otherwise, it would have been impossible. "I don't usually miss people. Things just…come and go in my life, so I usually don't get the chance to have a connection with anybody."

This soon led to a discussion about Ryou's family life, which Ryou actually felt more comfortable discussing, particularly because it kept his mind off the spirit who continued to haunt him in his dreams. He talked about his mother, who died when he was a child, and his sister, who died early in Ryou's life as well, and lastly, his father, who was rarely around because of work. And, since Ryou was trying to be honest, he told Dr. Hikoru that his father's absence was probably by choice as well.

"I think I'm his reminder of a broken family," Ryou said, picking at a hangnail distractedly. "He once said I looked like my mom."

"I see," Dr. Hikoru said. "So it seems that you don't have much experience with healthy relationships that extend over a period of time. Do you have a girlfriend, Ryou?"

"How could I?" Ryou scoffed, trying to conceal his flushed face. "I wouldn't know where to start."

"Well usually romantic relationships are pretty instinctive. You find someone you like and you spend time with them."

_But this became impossible when the spirit of the Sennen Ring became a part of my life._ This, of course, would be impossible explain to a therapist. Ryou practically grew up with the Ring around his neck, and so with such a dominating, controlling spirit pulling the strings of his life, relationships (maybe even friendships) became unfeasible.

"I guess I've never felt a need for that kind of relationship in my life," Ryou finally said, uneasiness edging in his voice.

More scribbling on the notepad ensued. "Ryou, I want you to start seeking out meaningful relationships. You're 18. Have you considered going to college?"

"I have," Ryou said. "Not entirely sure if I can afford it. I don't want to ask my father for any help."

"Well, consider it," Dr. Hikoru said. "Not only will it give you something constructive to focus your energies on, it is a great way to meet new people. And if you can manage to make at least one true friend, I would consider that a success."

Ryou nodded dully. He knew she was right, what other plans did he have for his life? Nothing, so far. Besides, living at home would be a constant reminder of his old life, and he wanted to have a fresh start.

"You need something new, and you need something different in your life," Dr. Hikoru continued. "And I think we might see some improvements if you busy yourself with something like college." She ripped off a piece of paper. "In the meantime, here's a prescription for your insomnia. See you next month?"

And so Ryou did, religiously, until one day he could no longer schedule appointments because he had moved to attend a university many miles away.

* * *

It wasn't long until Ryou realized that a person can move away from home, but parts of the past still find ways to cling on anyway. Coincidence or fate, Ryou was quite surprised when he discovered that Yuugi attended the same university.

As it happened, Ryou and Yuugi were in the same "Introduction to University Life" course that every freshman was required to take. Which was unfortunate, because it was a completely pointless class.

And it was for that reason that Ryou did not realize Yuugi was in the same class. About a week into the semester, Ryou felt someone gently prod his shoulder and as he turned to look, he saw Yuugi place his bag next to Ryou's.

"Is this seat taken?" he casually asked, as if he had talked to Ryou every day since that trip from Egypt. In reality, though, it had been about two years since they even exchanged a word.

Ryou blinked back his surprise. "It is now." He moved over to make room. Ryou always wondered if any of his high school friends would remain in contact with him, especially after the trip from Egypt. He had always suspected that the only reason Yuugi, Jounouchi, Honda, and Anzu stayed around was to monitor his actions, to make sure the spirit of the Ring wasn't acting out. And his suspicions, for the most part, had been correct—everyone he had considered a "friend" slowly withdrew from him, like people leaving a concert once they realized the show was over.

Nevertheless, here Yuugi was, seeking him out and offering to sit with him. It had to count for something. But still. Two years without communication was a long time.

Ryou extended a hand. "Hi, my name is Ryou Bakura. And you are?"

Confusion twisted Yuugi's features for a moment before he faintly smiled and grasped Ryou's hand. "Yuugi Mutou."

"So, Yuugi Mutou, how is it that just now you are in this class? You're a week off schedule."

"Oh, no, it was intentional." Yuugi took out a pen and paper as he settled in his chair. "We both know this class is a waste of time. And it doesn't help this is the earliest possible time slot for a class to start. I'm not exactly a morning person."

"Who is, really?" Ryou sighed. "We get up because we have to. If people had a choice, they would not get up before the sun does. Granted, if you never went to sleep to begin with, well, I guess that's another story."

"My problem is, I can't go to sleep at a decent time. My body refuses. Well, I guess my mind refuses." Yuugi was talking to Ryou as if they hadn't missed a beat in their friendship. If he was nervous talking to Ryou by any extent, he didn't show it. "By the time I even begin to drift off, it's already 6 in the morning. Yet here I am today, with a whole hour of sleep. I feel accomplished." The whole time Yuugi was speaking, his tone was flippant. Although Ryou knew better. He knew how horrible it was to be plagued with insomnia—he had it too, after all. He only took his prescription for insomnia when he was absolutely desperate, because otherwise, he would be groggy for the rest of the day.

"And—I'm just taking a shot in the dark here—I'm guessing this problem started about 2 years ago?" Ryou kept his tone casual, but both teens understood the true meaning behind his question.

Yuugi met Ryou's eyes. "Of course it did."

Ryou never anticipated holding onto any of his past friendships, but in that moment, he realized he had a true connection with Yuugi, who seemed to be quite different from who he was two years ago. Like tragedy changed his fundamental being, as if it matured him yet also took out his childish optimism. Nevertheless, Ryou realized he had something vital in common with Yuugi. They both experienced the pain and hollowness that came with losing a Sennen Item and their respective spirits. Yuugi could understand him.

The lecture was just starting, but Ryou couldn't resist whispering to Yuugi, "I have work after classes today, but could you meet me tomorrow after five? We should talk." And in that instant, Ryou could see that old spark of happiness dance in Yuugi's eyes before he nodded.

* * *

Ryou knew it made sense to hold a job while attending school because it was the only way he could afford to even be enrolled. He refused to ask his father for a dime, although he did need him to cosign his loans. In the end, despite the hassle of working out payment plans and juggling work and school, Ryou felt it was worth it. He was one step closer to being independent, and he desperately needed a new change of scenery.

When Ryou decided to find a job, one thing was certain—he did not want a job that required too much interaction with people. He was too introverted and, as he was aware, did not have the best people skills. If customers became angry or rude, Ryou knew he would just shut down or run away, neither of which were the right way for employees to handle the disgruntled masses.

So Ryou was quite pleased with his current job at a local bookstore, mostly because he was busy with restocking shelves or organizing. And the times he had to work at the cash register, usually the people were pretty pleasant. If they wanted to argue about the price of something, oftentimes Ryou would put in a minor discount to shut them up. As long as the managers didn't know, then it made no difference to Ryou. An avoided confrontation was an avoided confrontation.

This strategy went on for a while until one day, someone approached him.

"Hey new kid, I know what you're doing."

Ryou froze with his hand poised above a book he just shelved. He turned to face the voice, bracing himself. A girl was looking expectantly at him, waiting for a response. Ryou had seen her working at the bookstore before, although usually she seemed to work opposite shifts. She seemed a little older than him, although maybe it was her short black bob and heavily made-up face that deceived him.

Her thickly lined eyes blinked at him impatiently. "You awake in there?"

"Yes." Ryou glanced at her nametag. "Myra. I don't think we've met."

She didn't take the bait, although she did smirk. "You give customers discounts when they complain about the price. You'd rather violate company policy than face conflict." In that moment, her wry smile reminded Ryou of someone he wanted to forget. He looked away.

"I guess you're right," Ryou said. He waited for a rebuke, although it didn't come.

"Good. Screw those corporate assholes. They can spare a few cents." Amusement danced in Myra's eyes. "I'm going on a smoke break. Follow me." She rattled her Marlboros theatrically at the manager across the room. "Smoke break! I'm taking five!" she shouted. The manager nodded. Grabbing Ryou's wrist, she escorted him outside.

"I don't smoke—" Ryou started, but was cut off.

"Oh, me neither. But how else can you get away with taking an extra 5-minute break?" Myra pocketed her box of cigarettes. "I've had the same box for over a year now."

Despite the nervousness that sloshed at Ryou's insides, his shoulders relaxed. "I guess neither of us will be getting 'Employee of the Month' anytime soon."

Myra cracked open an energy drink. "Oh, well. Guess I'll have to find meaning in my life elsewhere." She eyed his nametag briefly. "So tell me, Bakura, where you from? You don't look like your average guy."

Ryou felt his face getting warm. "Domino City. But I'm thinking I'd look abnormal no matter where I'm from."

Myra _tsked_ as she took a large swig of her drink. "Harsh. I was trying to suggest you're a cutie. It's also not every day you see someone with white hair. Unless you're like, 80."

Ryou didn't know how to respond, but shrugged instead.

"You know," Myra said, eyeing Ryou, "if you really wanted to draw attention _away_ from yourself, you probably ought to cut that hair of yours. It's longer than mine! Just saying."

Self-consciously, Ryou ran his fingers through his hair. She was right. "I've never thought about it. I guess I've been kind of negligent."

Myra sighed. "No, this is where you should say, 'This is intentional. I don't give a shit what people think.' You shouldn't take what a stranger says so seriously anyway. Now say it."

"Um, okay. 'You shouldn't take—"

"No! The other part."

Ryou hesitated, then said, "'This is intentional. I don't give a…shit what people think.'" Ryou paused awkwardly.

Then Myra burst out laughing until Ryou realized, despite his despondent mood, he had irrepressibly cracked a smile.

* * *

Ryou was glad that he had a dorm room all to himself. As it turned out, his roommate never showed up, and Ryou did not make a point of letting anyone know. Granted, he was certain that the authorities _did_ know, yet he held onto the hope that he would indefinitely have that precious extra space to himself. The dorm rooms were small, and every square foot mattered.

He had just arrived at his room after work and he wasn't even remotely tired. Ryou worried about this fact especially because he had that wretched "Introduction to University Life" class the next day. He would have to be up fairly early. He checked the time. _11:05_.

Absently, he ran a hand through his hair. It _was_ getting pretty long. If he wanted people to start taking him more seriously, he should at least try to look less like a girl. Of course, his facial features had sharpened up quite a bit and he definitely had the broad shoulders of a man, but the hair could deceive people, especially when they viewed him from behind.

"So, I guess I _do_ care what people think of me," Ryou said aloud, as if speaking to Myra. The whole point of going to college was to start over, and he did not want to preserve the same reputation that he could easily pass as "one of the girls."

Sliding open his desk drawer, Ryou fumbled around until he found a pair of scissors. They definitely weren't meant for cutting hair, but they would at least get the job done.

Ryou stepped in front of the long mirror attached to the door. He fastened his hair back with a rubber band. He grasped his thick rope of hair, gliding his hand up to the nape of his neck. _Fresh start_, he reminded himself.

Carefully, concisely, Ryou worked the scissors around the rubber band until long locks of hair fluttered lifelessly to the ground. He kept snipping until finally, the rubber band fell to the ground as well. Shaking off the stray hairs, Ryou finally managed to examine himself in the mirror.

But he did not see himself. He saw the spirit of the Ring. The image smirked at him.

"_Landlord…" _

Ryou let out a cry and stumbled backwards. Those devious, lively eyes…

But no. Shaking his head, Ryou realized he was only hallucinating. His heart was hammering in his chest and he realized he was trembling. Forcing himself to look in the mirror again, Ryou saw a definite resemblance now between himself and the spirit of the Ring, whose frayed short hair had looked as if it were carelessly sliced off with a dagger (and it probably was).

Ryou's thoughts were cut off by a loud knocking. "Hey, did you see a spider in your room or something?" There were a few muffled laughs behind the door.

Ryou tried to steady his voice. "Sorry, I—hit my foot on my bed frame." Ryou could imagine what Myra, in her irritated, feisty voice, would say: "_Why would you apologize? What are you sorry for?"_ Ryou finally stood up as he brushed himself off.

"'Kay, just checking. Glad to hear you're still alive."

Ryou ignored this as he cleaned up the piles of hair. He tried to keep his movements controlled and fluid, but felt stiff with shock at his hallucination of Bakura.

Ryou felt his face heat up with shame. It had been two years, yet every day, in some way or another, the spirit of the Ring crept up into his thoughts. And then there were his dreams.

Carefully, and somewhat guiltily, Ryou pulled out his suitcase from under his bunk bed. He opened it and gingerly took out the Sennen Ring. He remembered how as soon as he returned from his trip to Egypt he had polished the Ring for _hours_, almost robotically, until it returned to a nearly perfect state. Much to Ryou's chagrin, however, he couldn't quite get out some of the scratches and dents.

When packing for college, Ryou had debated for a long time whether or not to bring the Ring. It served no purpose. It might get stolen. It would serve as a painful reminder of the past. For days, with his suitcase propped open, Ryou would take out the Ring, then place it back in, carefully enveloping it between his clothes. This process was repeated dozens of times until the day Ryou was leaving. The Ring was lying on his bedroom desk, and Ryou was just about to walk out the door until he made the mistake of glancing back just once. The soft glint of reflected light was all Ryou needed to see before he, once again, tentatively wrapped the Ring amongst his clothes and zipped up his suitcase. Despite all the reasons _not_ to take the Ring with him, Ryou could not find it in his heart to leave it behind.

Ryou now examined the familiar pattern on the Sennen Ring, running his fingers for the millionth time across the smooth metallic surface. Somehow, irrationally, Ryou was comforted by the Sennen Ring, despite the fact it had been the source of his misery for years. But it reminded him of something familiar, or rather, _someone_ familiar, that for one reason or another, Ryou felt attached to.

Ryou let out a breath of air, his thoughts drifting, relaxed with the Sennen Ring in hand, until soon, miraculously, he sunk into the welcoming darkness of sleep.


	2. Ashes

Phoenix

By: ACE329

Summary: Life after the Sennen Items has been complicated. Ryou has decided to see a therapist, as he struggles to come to terms with his own inexplicable misery. Despite the "new and different" life Ryou has arranged for himself, he can't quite forget about the twisted and destructive spirit that used to be the very center of his existence.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh!

Part Two—Ashes

"So here we are again," a smooth, alto voice drawled. Ryou and the spirit of the Ring were sitting across from each other in the cave where the Sennen Items were laid to rest.

"Yes," Ryou agreed. "Again." The interesting part about Ryou's dream was that it was like an alternate universe, because Ryou was able to talk to Bakura. In his dream, the moment he would run into the cave where the Sennen Ring was buried, he would see Bakura waiting for him, arms folded and perched on a small boulder. And unlike the Bakura that Ryou had grown accustomed to in reality, this one seemed more tolerant, more willing to interact. Regardless, it seemed so _real_.

Although it wasn't always this way. When Ryou first began having these dreams, it would end with Ryou being dragged away from the cave with his friends. Or when he would attempt to dig up the Sennen Ring, he would keep scratching at the ground only to uncover absolutely nothing. These dreams exhausted him, and he dreaded experiencing the same grief every night he managed to fall asleep.

But then his therapist suggested focusing his thoughts before going to bed. "If you try to concentrate on specific, _happy_ memories," Dr. Hikoru said, "those might be able to replace your nightmares." Ryou interpreted that as, "It's okay to sleep with your Sennen Ring at night if it brings you comfort." So it just became another part of Ryou's bedtime routine to make sure the Sennen Ring was lying on his bed. It worked better than any sleeping pill, anyway.

And perhaps it _was_ out of character for the spirit of the Ring to bother speaking to Ryou over such an extended period of time, but these dreams, as long as they continued to happen, made it _impossible_ for Ryou to forget about him.

"You could stop all of this, you know," Bakura said. He gestured around him. "You clearly want to forget about the Sennen Items, and me, but you're still holding back."

"I _do_ want to forget," Ryou said, shaking his head. "But it's not so simple."

Bakura rolled his eyes, stretching his arms behind him. "Yeah, it is. The day you wholeheartedly are done with seeing this damn scenario—the day you get bored with it, I guess—is the day you are free."

"How can I get bored with a dream that changes every time?"

Bakura barked out a sharp laugh. "Fair enough. Then get bored with _me_."

Ryou examined Bakura's face, and as usual, relished in the subtle differences between their appearances. "Well that sure would be rude, don't you think? Getting _bored_ with a person. 'Hey now, we're going to just stop conversing because I'm _bored_ with you.' I mean, I wasn't raised in a barn."

"Shut the hell up. You know what I meant." Nevertheless, Bakura appeared amused.

Ryou nodded solemnly. "But you know…" Bakura raised an eyebrow. "You're different. In a good way. Usually our conversations would be more like arguments or demands."

"Well it's amazing what wonders can occur when the person you have yearned to inflict your revenge upon is currently six feet under. So I'm at peace."

"You're six feet under too. Technically," Ryou added.

"I wonder if that son of a bitch Pharaoh haunts his old host in his dreams too."

"You don't _haunt_ me. It seems to be my choice. _My_ subconscious indicating that something is missing in my life right now. Apparantly."

"Which would be pain, despair, and anguish. You need that?"

"You don't…it's all different now. And I miss…" Ryou trailed off, suddenly embarrassed.

But Bakura knew. Ryou could see that look of acknowledgement in his face, could see the way his eyebrows lifted then pinched together. A frown had formed on his face.

"Don't get attached." Bakura's casual tone had sharpened, had become more severe.

Ryou stood up. Anger flushed his face. "So what if I am? Big shocker. I see you every day—in my mind, anyway—and I don't care if you're real or not, it's all real to _me_. How can you expect me to interact with you and not feel some sort of connection?"

"It's your own damn fault. You're letting this happen to yourself. One day you will have to wake up and realize that _this_—" Bakura sharply flicked his hand to indicate the whole area, "—cannot be the sole reason you feel fulfilled in life. This isn't real. This isn't—"

"Yes it _is_! I feel everything. I see you, I can _touch_ you—" In that instant, Ryou reached out to grasp Bakura's wrist, yet Bakura immediately recoiled, as if he had been burned. His eyes narrowed, and suddenly, Ryou was reminded of the Bakura of the past, the one still partly controlled by Zorc.

"_Listen to me_," Bakura hissed. He took a step towards Ryou, refusing to break eye contact. "I'll say it again because you are not listening. Don't. Get. Attached."

Those were the words that resonated through Ryou's mind as he woke up at three in the morning, and he sighed deeply with his head in his hands, knowing it would be impossible to get any more sleep for the rest of the night.

* * *

Yuugi had visited Ryou later in the day. All day Ryou struggled to stay awake in his classes, but as soon as Yuugi was entering Ryou's dorm room, suddenly he felt more alert. It was also amusing how Yuugi did a double-take upon seeing Ryou's haircut, just as he did when they were in their "Introduction to University Life" class.

"Sorry, I'm still getting used to it," Yuugi admitted as he set his bag down. "I'm not even one who notices when someone gets a haircut, but you just look so _different_."

Ryou wasn't sure if Yuugi was referring to "different" in a good or bad way, so remained silent as he just nodded in agreement.

"You're all by yourself here? That's lucky," Yuugi commented after a pause. "My roommate and I hardly have enough room to walk."

"Right, but how many gaming consoles do you have?"

Yuugi started counting on his fingers, then shrugged. "I lost count. Look, I couldn't just pick one. It's unreasonable to _play_ favorites."

Ryou rolled his eyes at the bad pun and pulled out a chair for Yuugi. "I guess we all have our vices…"

Nevertheless, that still didn't deter Yuugi from taking a PS3 console out of his backpack and coaxing Ryou into playing a racing game for two and a half hours. Ryou felt pride in the fact that he didn't lose too horribly to Yuugi because—well, Yuugi was a _freak_ with all games. No one could beat him.

"I'm done," Ryou said, throwing down his controller. "Really, you're absolutely beastly with games. That ought to be résumé material."

Yuugi grinned. "Never thought I'd be described as 'beastly' within any context. But thanks."

"I'm willing to bet that even if you were to compete with your other half, you'd still win," Ryou said absently. But then he realized he made a big mistake. Yuugi's grin had faded, and looked instead as if he had been slapped.

Ryou groaned. "Yuugi, I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me…"

Yuugi stayed silent for a moment before he spoke up. "No, it wasn't. You would think I would be over this by now. Over _him_."

Ryou straightened up a bit. _Here's my chance_. "Do you…dream about him?"

Yuugi slowly looked up from his feet. "Sometimes. Why?"

"Well, what I mean is, do you actually have conversations with him? And your dream really isn't like a dream, because you seem to have complete control over what you do?"

There was a tense pause. "Bakura…" Yuugi whispered, with an edge of anger in his voice, "you have the Sennen Ring with you in this room, don't you."

Ryou grew defensive. "What makes you say that?"

"You just think it's perfectly normal to be having 'conversations' with a spirit who is supposed to be _dead_? How often is this happening?"

"They're _dreams_, Yuugi. Calm down."

"_How often is this happening_?" Yuugi repeated, straining to keep his voice level.

"Um, about every night. If I sleep," Ryou said tentatively. "But, really, there's no reason to—"

"Bakura, it's time for you to get rid of that thing," Yuugi interrupted. "I mean it. All Sennen spirits are supposed to be _dead_—" here Ryou couldn't help but notice the grimace of pain twisting Yuugi's features, "—and somehow you're having these interactions in your dreams that are never supposed to happen."

"But what does it _matter_?" Ryou demanded. "It's not doing any harm, it's not affecting anything…"

"It's affecting _you_, Bakura." When Ryou didn't respond, Yuugi continued, "You will never get closure with this. You will never be able to move on and start a new life _free_ from any of this abnormal ancient Egyptian magic that any sane person wouldn't believe. How can you live like this? It's been two years." Ryou noted that Yuugi's eyes were starting to water, but he looked determined not to cry. "And I know, it _sucks_, it kills you that you have to let go of the person who knew you best in this lonely world, but Bakura, _it's time to move on_."

A painful silence filled the room. The only sound Ryou could hear was the static buzzing of an overhead fluorescent light. Dimly, he felt his heart pounding in his ears.

With shaking hands, Ryou pushed open the door.

"I think you should go now."

* * *

It was over the course of many 5-minute "smoke breaks" that Ryou came to know Myra really well. What Ryou liked best about her was the fact that she had no problem doing all the talking, which meant Ryou could just stand and listen quietly. She rarely asked about his personal life, which he appreciated, because honestly, he enjoyed listening to a person talk about what a normal life should be like.

Ryou also found out something that didn't quite seem to make sense. Myra apparently hated men. Especially older men. Whenever a male customer would approach her, she seemed a lot more frigid and unhelpful than if she were to help a female customer. Ryou once asked Myra about this.

"Men are just douchebags," Myra said dismissively, waving around her week-old cigarette that was now wilted and stained with her dark plum lipstick. She glanced apologetically at Ryou. "Sorry, pal, but it's true."

Ryou wasn't quite sure how to respond to this.

"I only approached you at first because I felt you were _different_," Myra explained when she saw Ryou's puzzled expression. "Like you were damaged or something and you wouldn't be a threat."

"So you wanted to talk to me because you thought I was _damaged_?" Ryou said incredulously. "What kind of logic is that?"

"When I look at men, it's like I can see what they are capable of. Violence, both physical and emotional. They fuck things up. And you…I can just look at you and know you wouldn't hurt anybody. You _couldn't_ hurt anybody."

Ryou couldn't help but feel insulted. "If this is your way of complimenting me, it sucks."

Carefully, Myra lowered herself to sit on the curb. She slowly twirled the cigarette in her hands. "It's just hard trusting people again after you've been…" she paused and closed her eyes, as if forcing herself to continue, "…after you've been...you know…"

Ryou was oblivious. "I don't, actually."

"_Raped_, you idiot." Her voice was low, and even the humor in her tone seemed halfhearted.

Ryou immediately sat down next to Myra. "What…happened?" He flinched, second-guessing. "But you don't have to tell me if it's weird for you."

Myra shook her head, but her eyes were still closed. "It happened four years ago. I was sixteen. I worked at some shitty fast food restaurant, and one of the managers—he was probably in his thirties—wanted to throw a party and invited some people he knew at work." Myra looked down at her boots. "He invited _me_, and like a complete idiot, I decided to go, lured in by the fact there would be booze there. And there definitely was. A lot." She smirked, although Ryou had the feeling she was disgusted with herself. "Long story short, I drank a ton, got trashed, was raped by my manager, and I was too far gone to stop him. The end."

Ryou's mind was spinning. "Wait, you didn't _tell_ anyone?"

"There was a coworker who I considered to be my friend. I told her. And she said, 'What are you expecting to happen? The manager will get fired because one employee complained about him?' She said I would be wasting my time doing anything about it. So I just quit." When Ryou kept silent for a while, Myra said, "I know it's my fault. I got what I deserved. Stupid teenage girl getting trashed at a stranger's party. I'm a dumb ass."

Ryou looked down at her with a frown. "No one _deserves_ to be raped. One bad choice shouldn't mean you _deserve_ it."

In spite of the conversation, Myra smiled. "See, this is why I like you. We could be good for each other. I need a boyfriend, so my parents stop asking, and you probably need a girlfriend, so people stop questioning your sexuality. No offense," she quickly added. And just like that, she was back to her impish self. "So…you want to start dating?"

Ryou could feel his face burning. "Um, _what_?"

"Look, are you gay? Just tell me."

"_N-no_!" _God, is she crazy?_

"You hesitated."

"_Because it's not every day someone asks a person that_!" Ryou frantically raked his hands through his hair in an attempt to calm down.

"Bakura, listen to me." Myra took a deep breath. "We wouldn't _actually_ be dating. It's just for convenience purposes. I could tell a guy to leave me alone because I'm 'seeing someone,' and my family will stop harassing me. And the same applies to you. You can tell any girl to back off because you too, are 'seeing someone.' And no one will ever question if you're gay or not. It's a win-win for both of us. Because let's face it, being different in this world _sucks_."

Myra sat back as Ryou tried to contemplate her words. His mind was whirling with confusion. In all honesty, he never really questioned his sexuality. He never really knew what he was. He never experienced a romantic relationship before, but the closest he ever came to feeling that sort of connection was with…

"That's completely ridiculous," Ryou said, "but somehow, I think you're right."

"Naturally."

"Let's do it."

* * *

The next day, Ryou called Yuugi to apologize. He hadn't slept the day before, so perhaps it was his fatigue that helped him build up his nerve.

"Listen, I'm sorry for kicking you out of my room. You were just trying to help." Ryou bit his lip. "I think you can understand that nothing hurts more than the truth."

"Yeah…well maybe I was out of line," Yuugi conceded. "I'm just worried about you, and I'm just thinking about how it would affect _me_ if I could talk to my other self—Atem—" he sighed. "It even hurts to say his name. And it shouldn't be like that. I know he would want me to move on by now because he would want me to enjoy my life. I didn't really know the spirit of the Ring—and to be honest, what I did know of him, he was a jerk—but I'm sure he would want what's best for you too."

After a pause, both Yuugi and Ryou snorted at this. "Well, maybe," Ryou said dismissively. "But I was wondering, do you want to meet up in about thirty minutes? We could take a walk."

"Sure…" Ryou could hear the slight concern in Yuugi's voice, "I'll be there."

* * *

There was a forest just on the outskirts of the university, so Yuugi and Ryou decided to wander there for privacy. Ryou especially enjoyed the fact that, since it was autumn, the trees were bursting with vibrant colors and that it seemed as if flashes of gold, orange, and crimson rained from the sky.

"I…guess I have a girlfriend," Ryou offered after a few moments of quiet.

Yuugi stopped walking for a beat before he caught up. "You 'guess'?" Yuugi was looking at Ryou curiously.

"Yeah…her name is Myra. She's great. Except she's really not my girlfriend."

"I don't understand."

Ryou swallowed. He waited a bit to gather his courage before he said, "I mean, we agreed we would label ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend without the actual implications. It was just for convenience."

Yuugi seemed to be struggling with what Ryou was saying. "Convenience…as in, no one would question what you are?"

"Yes." _A coward, an outcast, a freak_. "Yuugi, I think I'm…" Ryou couldn't say the word. He stopped walking. He was aware of his face getting warmer by the second.

"You don't have to say it if you don't want to," Yuugi said. Ryou nodded. They eventually continued walking as the sound of crunching leaves filled the silence.

"So, I have a theory," Yuugi began, "about why we are fascinated with our respective spirits of the Sennen Items. Why we have a hard time letting go. Why we _love_ them." Ryou began to protest, but Yuugi cut him off. "Sorry, but it's true. It's obvious to me. The way you freaked out when Jounouchi tried to take the Sennen Ring from you on our last day in Egypt—" Ryou's mind flitted back to his anguished screaming (_NONONONO_) "—that to me could only mean that the spirit of the Ring was something priceless to you. Somehow, despite how much he's hurt you, you really care for him, and even today, I bet that more than anything, you miss him."

Ryou noticed his vision was blurring as he distractedly wiped at his face. "Then what's your theory?"

"I think we are drawn to _them_ because they have all the qualities that we lack. Or maybe somehow, they represent what we want to be." Yuugi glanced at his hands. Inexplicably, when Atem assumed control, those same hands looked stronger, more capable. "When I look at myself in the mirror, I believe I look like a scared boy. And in the mirror, all I can see are my flaws. But when _his_ spirit has taken control, those flaws disappear. Same body, different person. He's brave and confident and bold. You can see it in his eyes. A burning spirit that convinces you that he knows what he's doing."

"Yuugi, you're wrong," Ryou said. "You were once a scared boy years ago, but don't you see how you've changed? You _physically_ look different, but I think you've grown more internally than you realize. People notice you. And they listen to what you say. I've seen it our last year in high school, and I see in the class we take together. Your voice has become stronger and your words are wiser." Ryou paused. "As time passes, I think…you become more like your other self."

That made Yuugi smile. "Then I know I'm on the right track."

The pair continued to talk about other things—lingering on the absence of their respective other halves was proving to be too painful—but Ryou couldn't help but replay Yuugi's observation from earlier: "_We are drawn to them because they have all the qualities that we lack._" What did Bakura have that Ryou did not? Like Atem, Bakura had plenty of confidence, perhaps too much of it, but there were other things, too. He was persuasive—he could convince nearly anyone to listen to him. And also like Atem, he was bold—no, more than that, he was _fierce_. While Ryou knew he personally could be more passive, Bakura could be more proactive. Ryou was a "thinker," Bakura was a "doer."

In retrospect, maybe Yuugi was right. Bakura had a lot of qualities that Ryou desired. Ryou knew he overthought many situations and rather than just act to achieve results, he would often just sit and wait for the desired result to fall onto his lap.

But then, Ryou couldn't help but wonder—what would happen if one day he found out he _did_ have all the qualities he admired in Bakura? What if he found out that he, too, could be fierce and strong and convincing?

_Then maybe I can sever these chains and be free from my obsession. _

Paradoxically, it was a thought that both excited and terrified Ryou, and he wasn't quite sure why.

* * *

Later in the evening, encouraged by the fact he had been unable to sleep the previous night, Ryou popped two sleeping pills and made sure the Sennen Ring was clenched tightly in his hand before he escaped into his own dream world.

Only things were different this time. Without fail, Bakura would be waiting for Ryou in the usual spot, and they would resume their conversation where it had left off. But now, Ryou looked around the vast emptiness of the cave and did not see the spirit of the Ring.

"Bakura," Ryou called out softly. The only thing that greeted him was the echo of his own voice. Admittedly, he felt hurt. _Why isn't he here?_

Their last conversation hadn't ended well. "_Don't get attached_," Bakura had said. He even looked angry. But Ryou never believed that Bakura would actually _stop_ seeing him.

The thought nauseated him. Carefully, Ryou settled down on a large rock and put his head in his hands. He waited.

"I don't understand you," a voice said behind him after at least ten minutes had stretched in silence. Ryou whipped around, recognizing the sound immediately. A wave of relief washed over him.

"I thought you wouldn't show up." Ryou stood up and walked to Bakura, but kept a slight distance between them. He knew Bakura started to act weird whenever they were too close. As if they were poison to each other.

Bakura's face darkened into an unreadable expression. "And we both know that's how it should be. But I have to tell you something."

"Wait, me first." Ryou looked down at his hands. "You will probably be angry with me, but then again, you already are."

"Then spit it out already."

"I've been holding onto the Sennen Ring," Ryou started. He noted that Bakura's glum expression was replaced with slight intrigue. "I used to have these nightmares, every night, about—" _About never seeing you again, about tearing at the earth, only to never uncover what I had been looking for…_ "—about my last day in Egypt. And it was exhausting. I mean, I already have trouble sleeping now, but back then, it was even worse. I was terrified of having to relive that moment every night."

Bakura smirked. "Yeah, but no surprises there. You're terrified of nearly everything."

"Shut up. I'm getting better." It then occurred to Ryou how the dynamics of their conversation had evolved over time. Ryou used to refrain from saying anything remotely offensive to avoid Bakura's wrath, but somehow, in this dream world, Bakura could interact like a normal human being. Granted, he was generally still rude and impatient, but he was _normal_.

"So anyway, I realized something important. If I held onto the Sennen Ring while I was sleeping, I would no longer have those nightmares." Ryou glanced down. "These are the 'dreams' I have instead."

Bakura was silent for a moment. "In other words, you are the reason that I'm even here." There was an edge to his voice. "You're the reason I haven't fully passed on to the afterlife."

An epiphany just struck Ryou. "Wait, so this whole time…it hasn't just been a dream, a scenario created by the power of suggestion when I have the Sennen Ring in my hand when I sleep?"

Bakura sighed. "Just _now_ you realize this?"

"I guess?"

"How do you function in the world?" But then there was a meaningful pause, because that was when Ryou's confession finally sunk in. He was perhaps the reason Bakura couldn't pass on completely.

Without really thinking, Ryou tactlessly muttered, "Well, you're welcome, because we both know you'd get a one-way ticket to hell as soon as you officially die. So I'm prolonging the time you're _not_ suffering." Ryou then wondered if he had gone too far, if he finally had said something that would make the spirit of the Ring snap. He could never really be sure.

But Bakura, despite Ryou's nerve, cracked a wolfish grin. "Yeah, true. But you're a bastard for not telling me sooner."

"So what were _you_ going to tell me?" Inwardly, Ryou felt relieved that Bakura didn't seem that angry. He expected a full-on temper tantrum, which never came. He was still getting used to the fact that Bakura seemed, well, stable. Maybe.

Bakura finally settled down on a rock across from Ryou (never sitting next to him…) and looked at the floor. He did seem angry, or more so conflicted. "You say it's because of the Ring that I appear in your dreams, but it's not entirely true." He clenched his fists. "I am selfish. And I'm usually okay with that. I don't exist to benefit others, I exist to benefit _myself_." Ryou said nothing, waiting for Bakura to continue. It was rare when Bakura seemed totally sincere with his words, and this was one of those times.

"Last time I saw you, I told you to not get attached," Bakura said. "I was angry. But that anger wasn't completely directed towards you, it was directed towards myself. Because in saying those words to you, it was like I was trying to convince myself as well. Then I realized it was already too late."

"'Too late'…?"

"Piece it together, moron." Bakura wasn't looking at Ryou. "What I'm getting at is, I have a choice in the matter when we see each other. It's not just you holding onto that Ring, it's me deciding to see you too." He raked his hand through his hair, still looking angry.

Ryou felt slightly dizzy. "Why?" he asked. "Why would you bother?"

"Dammit, I don't _know_," Bakura growled. He got up and stalked around a few paces. Ryou patiently waited while Bakura struggled to find words to his thoughts. "I guess…look. When I inhabited you, I was the one who could pull the strings, right? I could control you."

"Yeah…"

"Well, I was kind of controlled too, in a way. Not completely, but when I 'partnered' up with Zorc, he heavily influenced a lot of things I said and did. It became stronger as we came closer to our goal." Bakura continued to pace, looking distracted. Finally, he stopped. He turned to face Ryou. "Somehow, despite how I treated you, despite how I manipulated you, somehow…you still seemed to want to have a connection with me. And I tried to keep my distance, I tried not to waste a single thought on you, but then there was a moment, when Zorc was defeated and I was only a spirit, no longer belonging to a body, and I could see _you_." Bakura's eyes were distant. "You were so hurt, so torn up about the fact that I, your tormentor, would be out of your life. I watched you cry and I _felt_ something." Bakura once more clenched his fists. "I felt regret."

Ryou's mind was spinning. Distantly, it occurred to him that there _had_ to be a reason Bakura was telling him all this.

"Suddenly, I was resolved not to go away, not to allow myself to become swallowed by oblivion—I wanted to somehow make things better. With you. I made you suffer for years and yet when I was no longer inhabiting your body, you _still_ suffered. I could no longer interact with you in the real world, but then one day I found that I could communicate with you in your dreams."

Ryou understood now. "So both of us had to be willing to see each other for this to even happen."

Bakura nodded. "But in seeing you, I realize that I'm being selfish. And like I said, I usually don't care, but this time it's different. You can't forget about me as long as we still see each other." A feeling of dread overwhelmed Ryou's senses. _No…_

"But I _need_ to see you," Ryou blurted out. "I _want_ to talk to you, it's my choice too…"

"I've said it before. This can't go on. And you don't need me. We're toxic to each other, can you not see that? You prevent me from passing on, and I prevent you from moving on."

"But—" Ryou stopped talking when he realized that Bakura was only inches from his face, staring intently into his eyes. Bakura's hand had pressed against Ryou's thigh for support.

"I'm here because you're my 'unfinished business.'" Bakura whispered into Ryou's hair. Heat coursed through Ryou's veins as he closed his eyes. "I think we will both know when we're ready to part our ways. It will be soon..." Bakura leaned in even closer, and Ryou could feel his breath on his neck. For a 'dream,' it seemed so real. Ryou could even smell him, which reminded him of the earth on an autumn morning.

"But I think we can both agree…" Bakura said, his hand sliding up Ryou's thigh, "today just so happens to _not_ be that day."

"Yes," Ryou said breathlessly. His hands reached up and touched Bakura's face, and for once, Bakura let him. _Yesyesyesyesyes._

* * *

Ryou did not wake up until late the next morning, and his sheets were soaked. He carefully peeled a sheet away from his body with his heart still pounding. He noted, for perhaps the hundredth time, how grateful he was for not having a roommate.

Ryou knew that Bakura told him that their interactions would be coming to an end soon. But in that moment, when Bakura gave him the affection that he now realized he had so desperately craved, he didn't exactly care _what_ came out of Bakura's mouth.

For an instant, Ryou lingered on the memory of Bakura's mouth (_how his lips grazed me, devoured me…_). He shook his head, trying to stop reliving the previous night. But he wanted to focus on what Bakura told (_whispered to…_) him instead.

Apparently, both of them would realize when they could move on. But how? And why was it necessary for them to stop seeing each other?

Slinking out of bed, Ryou glanced at the clock. _11:46 a.m_. He had slept through one of his morning classes, yet somehow he didn't care. The sunlight hurt his eyes and part of him was tempted to pop another sleeping pill and go back to the place where—

Ryou jolted with realization. _I see now_.

Seeing Bakura, talking to him, and now even _touching_ him had created a ravenous desire to spend even more time with the spirit whom had happened to become the center of his life.

He could hear Bakura's voice from last night, smooth, yet heavy with disapproval: "_This can't go on…we're toxic to each other…_"

Bakura was right. As long as they continued to simply _exist_ in each other's world, there was no way there could ever be any closure between them.

Hesitantly, Ryou got ready for the day.

* * *

Myra and Ryou's "smoke break" was a little more different than the norm. Rather than allowing Myra to do most of the talking, Ryou felt like he had things he wanted to share for once. More importantly, it occurred to Ryou that it's actually nice to have friends. His whole life he had felt so lonely, yet with his tightening bond with Yuugi and his new friendship with Myra, he began to feel like a somewhat functioning member of society.

"I went to therapy for a while," Ryou told Myra as she popped open an energy drink.

She smiled cryptically. "Yeah, but who hasn't? The world's fucked up."

Ryou laughed at that. "Thank you. I feel reassured now. But I'll up the ante of craziness and say that I actually asked for it as my high school graduation present."

Silence. "Well, _damn_."

"I know."

"What was going so wrong in your life that you felt that you needed therapy instead of the generic-but-practical-money-in-the-grad card?"

Ryou stretched out his legs on the curb. "I guess a lot of things. I really didn't have a family. And I really didn't have friends. I just felt like I was drowning in loneliness, and it became worse when I felt the one person I had a connection with died." Ryou, for the most part, told Myra the truth. He did feel a connection with Bakura, despite their complicated relationship, and in way, Bakura _did_ die.

_Except I still talk to him. Probably shouldn't bring that up to Myra. _

Myra was watching Ryou. "I think…this conversation is going to take longer than five minutes." Her tone then changed to mimic a pretentious snob in high class society. "Let's plan for a _rendezvous_ darling, it'll be a smash."

Ryou brushed back the hair from his eyes and smiled. "Okay."

"And in the meantime, do try and make your act more convincing." Myra handed Ryou a box of cigarettes and a lighter. "Here, my 'one-month anniversary gift' to you. The manager's getting suspicious about you anyway."

"Is he? I suppose I'll have to practice my smoker's cough."

Myra nodded. "Right. Be convincing. Be bold. Demand your rights for a smoke break!" She got up. "Gotta head back. Pick me up tonight at 9?"

* * *

At exactly 8:59 p.m., Ryou swung by Myra's apartment for their "date." She was just putting in her earrings when he knocked on the door.

"The punctual type. That's always a plus." Myra grinned wryly. "I picked a good one!"

"Yeah well, I don't like to keep people waiting," Ryou said. "Then again, when have I ever had the opportunity to? I don't date. This might actually be my first one, pretend or not."

"That's a relief. Then I won't be expecting you to pull any tricks, since you don't know how the dating game works. And I wouldn't expect you to say anything generic and predictable either, like, 'Baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'u' and 'i' together.'"

"…I'm not really the type to call someone… 'baby.'" Even the word sounded strange to Ryou as he couldn't help but smile as he said it. "People actually talk like that?"

"Poor innocent lamb!" Myra said theatrically as she touched Ryou's arm. "You have much to learn if you ever chose to date someone for real. Now, shall we go?"

* * *

The place they chose for their first 'date' was a coffee shop that often had live music. There was just a lone saxophone player performing when Ryou and Myra walked in, but Ryou felt relieved that he wouldn't be shouting over a loud brassy band.

"I actually come here all the time," Myra said as they approached the counter, "Believe it or not, I'm a bit of a caffeine addict." Ryou of course knew she was being sarcastic, because it was one of the first things he found out about her. Every time Myra was on break at work, she immediately whipped out some form of caffeine.

"And anyway," she continued, "once you get your drink and a table to sit, _they leave you alone_ here. You can stay as long as you want and they don't give a shit. It's great."

"So that seemingly homeless guy in the corner, they never kick him out?"

"Not that I've ever seen, no." She turned her attention to the barista. "I'd like a large vanilla latte with two extra shots of espresso. Hold the whipped cream. Maybe also a slice of pumpkin bread. Actually, two slices. And what do you want, 'baby'?" She smirked.

Ryou scratched his head, trying to decipher the coffee-shop jargon that only a caffeine junkie would know. "A…medium chai-tea latte. Please. And…" He hesitated.

"You really don't know what you want, do you?" Myra shook her head. "He'll have a slice of pumpkin bread too."

Ryou sighed. "Thanks. I get overwhelmed with decisions." Myra began to take out her wallet, but Ryou beat her to it. He slapped down some money on the counter before she could protest.

"Allow me, 'darling.'" Ryou met Myra's gaze.

She raised her eyebrows. "Better, but not quite convincing enough." She patted his hand. "You'll get it."

The barista looked mildly confused as she gave Ryou his change back. She slid two plates across the counter with the slices of pumpkin bread. "Your drinks will be ready in a couple minutes."

Ryou and Myra grabbed a booth as far away from the other customers as possible.

"I was thinking…" Myra said, "about how funny it was to watch you talk to the manager earlier today. The way you 'accidentally' allowed your cigarette box to fall out of your jacket, and the way you dramatically picked it back up. As if you were proving to him, 'Ha! I told you I actually smoke!' I hate to break it to you, but I think he was more so checking out your ass than anything."

Ryou almost choked on his bite of food. "Oh, come on."

"I'm serious! You are one hot piece of—"

"I get it, thanks."

"And now with this new haircut of yours…"Myra reached out and lightly tugged on a piece of hair. "It looks really good on you. It's nice to be able to see your face."

Ryou felt his cheeks getting warm, and he was about to say something when he was interrupted by the barista bringing over their drinks. Ryou and Myra both murmured _thank you'_s and then fell into silence, with only the sound of the lone saxophone drifting despairingly through the air.

"Will you tell me more about going to therapy?" Myra softly asked.

Ryou leaned back thoughtfully. He debated on what he would say. "It's hard to think of all the reasons I wanted to go. It's not exactly my idea of fun, of course,"—Ryou half-smiled at this—"but somehow, I knew it was necessary. I was in a bad place. I could never sleep, I lost weight—"

"What weight is there for you to _lose_?"

"—and I was obsessed with thinking about my best friend."

"Male or female?"

"Male." Myra eyed him knowingly.

"_Stop_. It's not like that." _Yes, it is_. Memories of the previous night flooded Ryou's mind. He began twisting his napkin. "But it was really hard to explain to my therapist how complex this relationship was without her thinking I was completely insane."

"But that would be the point, right? You go to therapy to determine if you're crazy or not."

"But I know I'm not crazy." Ryou stopped fiddling with his napkin. "Although I also knew that I needed help. Even if I couldn't tell her everything."

"What was so hard for you to explain?"

"I don't even know if I can explain it _now_." Ryou stared at his plate and the single bite he took out of his pumpkin bread. He had a feeling he wouldn't be touching it anymore. He hesitated, debating whether or not to mention the truth. "My friend's name was Bakura. Yes, my own last name."

"Well, that's awkward."

In spite of himself, Ryou smiled. "Yeah, it is. And he…he was my whole life. He knew it, too. He used this knowledge to manipulate me at times, to get me to do things I regretted…" Ryou closed his eyes. No wonder he lost all his friends during the time he was bonded to the Sennen Ring. He wasn't trustworthy. "But I wanted something from him, too. So I couldn't just sever this relationship. I felt like I was chained to him, but I also didn't want to be free."

Myra seemed completely transfixed on Ryou's story. "That's…pretty twisted. What…what did you want from him, then?"

Ryou looked down, feeling a familiar blush creep up his neck. "I said my relationship with him 'wasn't like that,' but I guess I wasn't being honest."

"Obviously."

"I wanted him to see how committed I was to him and I wanted him to acknowledge it. I wanted him, despite how cruel he could be, to return what I felt for him. I could never explain why I felt this need for his affection, and I don't think I can even explain it now."

Myra smiled sadly. "Love is instinctive. You can't _explain_ it. You just feel it, and you can't reason your way out of your feelings." Ryou was reminded of something similar that Dr. Hikoru had said.

"At the end of my therapy sessions, Dr. Hikoru came to several conclusions. The first, and the most obvious, was that I was an insomniac. The second was that I had 'masochistic' tendencies. I was a glutton for punishment." Ryou reflected on that for a moment. "I guess in a way, she was right. I could see why she concluded that."

"I think love can turn anyone into a masochist," Myra said dismissively. "Was there anything else?"

Ryou paused. "Yeah…" He remembered his initial shock when Dr. Hikoru, in her gentle voice, asked him if he knew what "Stockholm Syndrome" was. Eventually he realized that the very definition of this condition resonated with him deeply. "I won't go into details about how this is possible, but it was concluded that I had a case of 'Stockholm Syndrome.' I developed an inexplicable connection with my tormentor." Ryou was going to say "captor" in place of "tormentor," but realized it would be too difficult to explain.

Myra was silent in thought for a moment. "And you say this man was your best friend?"

"Kind of…yeah. It wasn't reciprocal, though. He was all I had so maybe it was out of desperation that I clung to the idea of us having a connection, and as for Bakura, well, he didn't want anyone at all."

Again, there was silence between them and Ryou wondered if Myra regretted even knowing him. Ryou had never revealed so much about himself to anyone (even his therapist), and the only person who knew more than Myra did was of course Bakura. After all, he did once literally inhabit Ryou's mind. Not much one could hide in there.

"I get it," Myra said after a while. "He's your mirror."

Ryou stopped fidgeting. "My what?"

"Your mirror. Like somehow, you see parts of him that you admire—maybe how tough he is or brave, for example—and you subconsciously realize, '_I want to be that_.' And since he seems to be all you had, you convinced yourself you wanted not only to be like him, you wanted to be _with_ him." Myra stared at her hands, for once not looking at Ryou. "And maybe he would string you along, without you even realizing it at the time, but it would be enough to give you hope. It's the hope that really destroys you." Ryou suddenly realized that Myra seemed to understand almost _too_ well.

"Because every day you're living in suspense, begging for scraps of his affection and hoping—and wanting it so much that it hurts your whole body just thinking about it—that at some point, he will change or realize that you are worth his time and everything will be okay." Tears were slowly starting to roll down Myra's face, stained black from her makeup.

Ryou realized that tears had spilled from his eyes, too. Myra's words had spun a tale that not only reflected Ryou's truth, but her own truth, as well.

Ryou shifted from his seat, moving so he was sitting directly next to Myra. Instinctively he slipped his arm around her. "What happened to _you_, Myra?" he whispered. "You're telling me that _more_ has happened to you? More than being…"

"Oh, you'll appreciate this," Myra said bitterly, furiously swiping at her cheeks to make the tears disappear. "The man who raped me became my boyfriend not long after."

Ryou felt sick. "How can that be? You _wanted_ to be his girlfriend?"

"The truth? Yes." Myra sniffed in, waiting until she could control her breath. "He seduced me with his lies and charm and obviously meaningless promises. I was then seventeen when he tracked me down and somehow convinced me that I needed him." Her shoulders shook with rage. "His words were fucking _poison_. I wanted him, but I didn't want him, and when my voice of reason tried to speak up, it was drowned out by his sugar-coated words."

Ryou could now see perfectly why Myra understood everything he told her, why also she was never even fazed by his words.

"In a relationship with him, I wasn't even myself. My family had disowned me—surprise! Now you know I lied to you about my family! – or, if they still haven't, I'm sure they will get around to it eventually if they happen to remember I exist. On top of that, I am so fucked up I can't even trust myself to make a friend in this twisted, horrible world. Just two years with him, and my whole world shattered like a goddamn porcelain tea cup."

It was a shock for Ryou to find out that there were people in the world who suffered as much as he did. It would probably never be even close to the same scenario (_how many people can say they've shared a body with an ancient Egyptian spirit?_) but in fact, there were perhaps hundreds upon thousands of people who have been destroyed by simply enduring their lives.

Somehow, this gave Ryou strength.

"Look," Ryou said gently, as he held reassuringly onto Myra's hand, "_I'm_ your friend. I really like you. You're different, and—despite that lie you told me earlier about wanting to date me to make your family shut up—I think you're an honest person. I believe what you say. And, I happen to think you're interesting. How many people pretend to smoke just to get an extra 5-minute break? How many people have the nerve to give the middle finger to their manager, _and then_ convince that same manager to rehire you within five minutes?"

"All of which are not really _good_ things," Myra said with a watery smile, "but if you see them as assets, I won't protest." She paused, and Ryou thought he could almost see her blush. "And I didn't mean to lie to you. But if _he_ ever comes back, I want to be able to tell him to piss off because this time I really do have a boyfriend, and that boyfriend's gonna do some ass-kicking if necessary."

Ryou scoffed as he dropped his head. "God. You _really_ picked the wrong person for the job, then. I can't stress that enough. I'm not a fighter."

Myra shook her head emphatically. "No, I disagree. I see it now, this strength that keeps building up inside of you. I can tell you are strong when you need to be—look at what _you_ have gone through. Maybe you don't see it now, but one day, you'll surprise yourself."

Ryou let that comment soak in for a moment, somehow being reminded of a conversation he had with Bakura seemingly forever ago, when Ryou had said something similar and Bakura whispered seductively against his ear, "_Not a fighter? Landlord, I would say that you __**are**_." And Ryou never really believed him, but maybe now…

Myra broke him out of his thoughts with, "That, and, you're gay. I don't think I'll be attacked by you anytime soon."

"I don't know what I am, Myra," Ryou replied, eyeing her, "I really don't. I think sometimes, you come across an individual and it doesn't matter who they are, they _affect_ you, and you just decide you want to be with them. I guess it's…instinctive." Now Ryou understood what Dr. Hikoru meant. He felt it with Bakura, and maybe with Myra…

"Hey now, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Myra said. "We are damaged goods here. Healing takes time. Let's just not worry about anything yet, okay?"

And to Ryou, that answer sounded right.


	3. Rebirth

Phoenix

By: ACE329

Summary: Life after the Sennen Items has been complicated. Ryou has decided to see a therapist, as he struggles to come to terms with his own inexplicable misery. Despite the "new and different" life Ryou has arranged for himself, he can't quite forget about the twisted and destructive spirit that used to be the very center of his existence.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh!

Part Three—Rebirth

Much later in the night, Ryou sunk into bed with the satisfied exhaustion of an individual who made about a hundred important revelations about himself.

He wasn't quite happy—the emotion still seemed foreign to him, he wouldn't be quite there yet for some time—but he felt at least partly content. At peace with himself.

Maybe it could be possible to move on. He couldn't do it alone, of course, but then again, he didn't have to. Myra thought he had inner strength, and for once, Ryou started to believe it could be true.

For the first time in over two years, Ryou did not go to bed with the Sennen Ring in his hand.

He did not have a single nightmare.

* * *

"Looks like I'm going to have a four-star day," Yuugi commented as he leafed through a newspaper he brought to class. Yuugi and Ryou were a bit early for class to begin and Yuugi immensely enjoyed reading the comics and his horoscope for the day if he had time.

"I just don't see how you can stand it," Ryou said. "It's all a bunch of fluff. The people who write horoscopes throw in some vague phrases like, 'you will face some challenges today' and I mean, who _doesn't_ have challenges?" Pause. "So what does your horoscope say?"

"You're gonna knock it, but you still want to know what mine says?" Yuugi huffed. "Well let's see… '_You are in the face of adversity, yet have no fear, dear Gemini, for you will be able to handle all tribulations with ease. Tonight: celebrate_!'" Yuugi looked up from the paper and exchanged an amused glance with Ryou.

"Right, well, I guess we'll have to be the judge of these bold assertions," Ryou said. "Anything less than a four-star day, then I insist you write in to complain."

Yuugi grinned. "Deal."

Class was now starting, and the topic for the day had to deal with deciding the right major. While all newly-enrolled students were encouraged to decide their majors ahead of time, many remained "Undecided." Ryou was one of them.

"What you decide now could affect the rest of your life," the professor had said melodramatically. "Or at least, your entire college career and how much tuition you might have to pay. Many students are forced to stay longer than the typical four years because they switched majors too late."

"I guess it's crazy, but I went into college not even considering what I wanted to be," Ryou whispered to Yuugi.

"Same here," Yuugi replied softly. "How can you think about your future when you can't even think about the present?"

Ryou nodded as he then tried to tune into the professor's words.

However, this soon became impossible in a matter of minutes.

Ryou snapped out of his thoughts when the unfamiliar sound of the intercom switched on. The voice on the other end was loud and sounded panicked. "_Two shooters have entered the building. I repeat, two shooters have entered the building. Lock all doors and escape if—_" but the announcement was cut off with violent screaming and the sound of gunshots.

The blood had drained from Ryou's face, as he was pretty sure the same applied to everyone else in the room. For a moment, everyone was frozen in fear, exchanging glances, until the professor said, "Everyone get down and hide under your desks! I'm going to lock the door, and—"

"Wait!" Everyone looked over at Yuugi. He was standing now. "This doesn't make sense. So there are some shooters out there and all we are going to do is just sit here and wait for them to come and kill us?" Ryou blinked at Yuugi. For a moment, he looked _just_ like Atem. His back was straight and his eyes burned with resolve.

"That's the protocol," the professor shot back. "Unless if you can think of something better…?"

"I can," Yuugi said. "Bakura, tear down the building map on the wall and bring it to me." Ryou immediately complied, flattening the map against his desk. The sound of gunshots echoed in the distance. Some students began to cry while others were starting to cower under their desks.

"I'm going to draw out an escape plan," Yuugi said, his black pen tracing a couple paths hastily. "And if or when we encounter the shooters, we have to fight. We can only leave this room a few at a time. But we need someone to look out for the shooters to warn us if they're approaching."

"This is ridiculous," the professor snapped. "And dangerous. You would be risking someone's life by—"

"I'll do it." Ryou had spoken up before he could stop himself. In his mind, he could practically see Bakura laughing uproariously at him, sneering, _"You're trying to save these people, not __**kill**__ them!" _Without missing a beat, Yuugi said, "Great. Use your phone—call, text, whatever—when you see them. But we need weapons of some sort to defend ourselves. And a distraction. To get them off our trail."

A thought occurred to Ryou. "Do you have rubbing alcohol in your first aid kit?" he asked the professor. Every classroom—even in college—was surely required to have some sort of first aid kit…

The professor looked confused but nodded. She ran to a cabinet against the wall and rifled through its contents. Within seconds, she pulled out a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

Ryou reached in his back pocket and fished out the lighter he received from Myra the other day. "I think a little fire throughout a hallway might distract them."

Yuugi nodded once. "Brilliant. But I'd save it for last, and only if you have to, because we wouldn't want to risk burning the whole building down."

"Right…" Ryou eyed the fire extinguisher. "Could that help?"

Yuugi's eyes lit up. "Perfect! That will create exactly the diversion we need. They won't be able to see us if we use this as a sort of smokescreen." Ryou was actually thinking of using the fire extinguisher to help put any fire _out_ (its intended use), but he liked Yuugi's idea better. If he thought about it, this whole scenario could come across as just one big game, and that's exactly what Yuugi excelled at. It was as if Yuugi were a chess player, and he was merely moving the pieces. Ryou, the "queen" chess piece, was evidently about to do Yuugi's dirty work.

"Now enough planning," Yuugi said quickly. He broke open the glass containing the fire extinguisher with his foot, grabbed the vessel, and thrust it into Ryou's arms. Hastily, he gave Ryou a tight hug. "I will miss you if you die," Yuugi said. "So _don't_."

After pocketing the rubbing alcohol, Ryou wasted no time in running towards the door, and on his way, he heard Yuugi say to everyone, "We're going to try our best to make sure no one gets hurt. But you have to listen carefully to what I tell you. The shooters are probably divided. If one comes in the room, throw anything you can at him, preferably a heavy textbook, and _run_…"

Without a glance back, Ryou slipped out the door.

* * *

A thick bead of sweat trickled down Ryou's forehead as he tried to ignore the pounding in his head. He gripped the fire extinguisher tightly and wondered how many lecture halls were filled with people. People who didn't deserve to die.

Quickly, Ryou glanced about his surroundings and noted that both hallways he could see were empty. The building, after all, was huge. But the vast emptiness of the halls only accentuated the sharp echo of loose bullets. He peered inside a nearby room to see if it was vacant. It appeared to be a professor's office. Seeing nobody in the room, Ryou quickly slipped in. He whipped out his phone and hurriedly texted to Yuugi, "_Both hallways are clear. The north exit should be open_." He prepped himself to go back out into the hallway, but stopped short when he felt the distinctive coolness of a gun barrel against his head.

"Scream or move and you die."

Ryou's heart shot up to his throat. One of the shooters had actually been in the room—perhaps behind the door—yet Ryou failed to see him.

_I'm so stupid_, Ryou mentally chastised. _This sort of thing would have never happened to Bakura…and now my life might be the price for my idiocy…_

The shooter noted the fire extinguisher in Ryou's hand. "Planning on escaping?" He ripped the extinguisher from Ryou's grasp and tossed it to the floor. Ryou was pretty sure the harsh _clunk_ wasn't nearly as loud as the pounding in his ears. Roughly, the shooter grabbed a fistful of Ryou's hair and forced him to turn around. The man eyed Ryou appraisingly.

"Pretty face," he commented with a sneer. "You'll make a good hostage, too. What's your name, baby?" Distantly, Ryou remembered Myra, and the lighthearted conversation they had about the "rules of the dating game," and how absurd it was that he was hearing this word _now_, until he was ripped from his thoughts by a sharp grab on his groin. Ryou groaned and was about to double over until the shooter shoved the gun harder against his head. "Hey now. I told you not to move, yeah?"

Ryou's thoughts scattered everywhere like a jar of confetti being tossed into the air. He heard the distinctive _click_ of the gun.

"I. Asked. You. A. Question. What's your name?"

"_Fuck you_." Ryou rarely swore, but couldn't stop himself. He knew what the man wanted, and guessed that he wouldn't be shooting him right away—at least until he got what he wanted. Nevertheless, Ryou fought off the urge to push the man away, knowing that any movement could cost him his life.

"_And so will your language if don't watch it, you idiot!"_ Ryou could hear Bakura yell. Strange how easy it was to hear the spirit of the Ring in this moment of peril. Was he imagining it?

Ryou felt another grab between his legs. He also felt something hard pressed against the back of his thighs, but tried to ignore it.

"Ohh, we have a fighter here, don't we?" the shooter jeered. He shoved Ryou against the only desk in the room, and Ryou's arms fell in front of him to catch his balance. He held onto the edges of the desk, raking his mind for any idea regarding what to do. Ryou felt it was kind of hard to think with a gun pressed against his head.

"Let's see if we can _thrust_ that fighting spirit out of you." Behind him, Ryou could hear a belt clanking to the floor and a zipper being pulled down. Soon he felt his own pants loosening.

_Think, dammit! What the hell can I do? _

The harsh grab at his genitals was distracting (let alone _painful_…) and Ryou let out a cry as his face was slammed against the desk. The shooter whispered threateningly in his ear, "Now look, I really don't want to have to shoot such a pretty face, but I will if you let out another sound again. You hear me?" Ryou felt his boxers slip down to his ankles.

Not too long ago, Ryou knew he would simply break down and cry. He knew he would let this man have his way and maybe hope someone would come to rescue him. But not now. Burning in his chest was a thirst for vengeance, a need to put this bastard in his place.

And in that moment, Ryou could see Bakura. The spirit of the Ring was translucent, but Ryou could see every distinct detail. His arms were tightly folded, his shoulders tense, his lips were curled back with rage.

And his eyes were screaming murder.

"_Gouge his fucking eyes out_," Bakura said, clear as day.

Ryou's eyes scoured the desk and in fact, did see a pen. If he acted quickly enough, he could get away from this unscathed.

_Don't think. Just do it. _

Within seconds, he swiped at the pen, whipped around, and jammed the pen right in the shooter's eye.

There was a blood-chilling, hair-raising scream soon after. Ryou instantly took his chance—he snatched the gun from the shooter's loosened grip while the man flailed around the room screeching like a slayed dragon.

The man began aimlessly swiping at the air. "_I'm going to fucking kill you!"_

"Can't really _see_ how you'd manage that," Ryou muttered, taking a step back. He quickly readjusted his pants. The man was probably in too much pain to attempt anything else, and he no longer had a gun…

Nevertheless, Ryou, knowing the gun was already cocked, shot at the man's leg. He never shot a gun before and wasn't expecting the recoil as he fell back a few paces.

"Sorry," Ryou said to the man, who was now writhing on the floor, "I would say that the reason I shot you is to prevent you from running off, but after that stunt you pulled, well, you know. Just be glad I didn't shoot just a _little_"—and Ryou really emphasized this word—"higher."

Grabbing at the fire extinguisher, he burst out the door. He wondered if Yuugi was safe. _Hopefully safer than me… _

He was immediately greeted with the sounds of gunfire.

"Are you _kidding_ me?!" Ryou yelped as he jumped back. The second shooter was at the end of the hallway and was swiftly approaching.

"_Bakura_!" Ryou's head snapped over as he saw Yuugi running towards him from the other side.

Ryou set the fire extinguisher on its side and kicked it to Yuugi. It skidded over to the teen's feet as he swiped it up.

"Our class was able to evacuate," Yuugi said breathlessly. "But I didn't hear from you, and I—" he was interrupted by more gunshots and the shooter yelling, "You're both gonna die you fuckers. Next time you want to escape from a building without being seen, try not screaming like a bunch of girls. Oh wait, too bad there won't _be_ a next time."

"Screaming? That was your _partner_," Ryou replied as calmly as he could. He ignored the look Yuugi gave him as he said, "Distract him and I'll see if I can get him from behind." Yuugi nodded as he started spraying the fire extinguisher, and as soon as there was enough of an obstruction, Ryou crouched down low and moved alongside a wall towards the shooter. The sounds of more gunshots exploded in Ryou's ears, and he ignored his gut instinct to run away from the noise.

He could see the shooter's feet but the rest was clouded in smoke. Ryou quickly took out the bottle of rubbing alcohol, uncapped it, and dumped its contents on the shooter's feet and clothes.

"What the—? HEY!" More shots. Ryou was aware that he got hit in the arm, but kept moving, too determined to not fail. Yuugi managed to snatch a second of the shooter's attention by literally throwing the fire extinguisher at the man when all its contents were used up.

But that second was all Ryou needed. He took out his lighter, ignited it, and tilted it towards the man's clothes.

And the shooter went up in flames before Ryou could blink. He immediately retreated, ignoring the screams and the desperate final shots seemingly landing nowhere, as the man started rolling on the floor in agony.

At that point, the police finally burst through the doors from the north exit, fully armed, and immediately sprung into action when they viewed the scene before them.

Ryou exhaled a long sigh, shoulders slumped, deflating, knowing that it was finally over.

In afterthought, he said stoically to Yuugi, "I think I've been shot."

* * *

When going against two shooters, it hadn't occurred to Ryou that he would have to contend with dozens of news stations demanding an interview from him. It also didn't occur to him that the trial would drag on seemingly forever, and it would be a while until he could get a moment to breathe. Yuugi, however, did not mind the spotlight. In fact, he seemed to _enjoy_ it. He was immediately acknowledged as a hero, for evacuating a whole lecture hall without a single casualty. But neither of them was aware of any of this yet. At this point, it had only been a couple hours since the shooting, and Ryou had just been treated at the hospital for his gun wound.

"I think I would like to go into criminal justice," Yuugi said absently, sitting beside Ryou's hospital bed. Ryou's arm had been bandaged up just a few minutes ago and Ryou was aware that he should be in pain, but he was feeling ironically too alive to dwell on the steady throbbing.

"You should," Ryou smiled. "I think you've found your calling." Ryou remembered how Yuugi was the first one who jumped into action as soon as they found out they were in danger. He initiated all the plans. He evacuated a whole lecture hall. "Yuugi, you were _fearless_."

"I never thought…" Yuugi trailed off. He sighed. "The whole time we were in that building, I would think, 'Do it for Atem. Make him proud.' That's how I got through."

"I think he would be _more_ than proud, Yuugi. He would be in awe."

"Every brave thing I've ever done these past few years was for him," Yuugi smiled, but Ryou noted the sadness in his eyes. "I hope he sees me."

"He does. I'm sure of it," Ryou said with conviction. With his good arm, he reached out and clasped Yuugi's hand reassuringly.

"Bakura—"

"It's Ryou. Please. We know each other."

Yuugi paused, then nodded. "Ryou. You never told me…what happened after you sent me that text about both hallways being clear. They obviously weren't. And what you said to that one shooter that his partner was the one screaming..."

"I went into an empty room, hoping to find a place to hide until I could spot a shooter, only to realize—too late—one was actually _in_ the room."

"Oh, God."

"It wasn't so much that I saw him first, it was when he had a gun pressed to my head that I realized I happened to wander into the wrong room."

"Seriously. What are the chances?"

"Let's see, about two hundred to one. But I'm a magnet for disaster, apparently." They both laughed. Ryou then hesitated. Should he tell Yuugi about what the shooter _wanted_ to do to him?

"The man wanted to use me as a hostage," Ryou said after a pause, which was a partial truth. In the end, he didn't want to be thought of as weak, and he knew if he told anyone about what really happened, it could be mentioned in court. He didn't want people to think of him as a potential rape victim.

_I'm not a victim._

"As it happened," Ryou continued, "I started mouthing off to the shooter—yeah, I know, it was stupid—and I heard the gun cock and I panicked."

"So, you…?"

"Well I stabbed him in the eye with a pen." Ryou sounded pretty matter-of-fact about it.

Yuugi nearly fell over. "God, Ryou! Did you really?"

"And then I shot him in the leg. So he couldn't escape." _Yes, it had nothing to do with the fact that he molested me. Nothing at all…_

Yuugi's eyes were wide. Then, he started laughing in disbelief. "I just can't believe you're the same Ryou from just a couple years ago. I don't even recognize you."

"No, no, I wouldn't say that…" Ryou absentmindedly looked out the window. "I'm still a coward. I still have a thousand fears." He paused. "But in spite of that, I could do it because…"

Ryou remembered seeing Bakura's face in that moment of danger. He remembered how Bakura's eyes burned with a painful desire to protect and defend his former host. Bakura wanted Ryou to _live_, and in the moment, Ryou realized that he did, too.

"…Because I did it for _him_." Ryou met Yuugi's eyes. "And I did it for _me_."

* * *

It was the kind of painfully long day that gets a second wind as soon as one thinks it's over, but finally, Ryou was able to go to bed. His own bed, not a hospital bed. He was quickly discharged soon after being bandaged because the doctors felt that he was "strong and capable" so would be fine being released.

And now Ryou, once more, took the Sennen Ring out of his suitcase from under his bed. His eyes examined the Ring admiringly, also pained by a sudden sense of finality. He kept the Ring close to his heart as he fell asleep.

As soon as Ryou appeared at the usual scene, he was caught off guard by Bakura, who immediately approached him.

"What are you—" he was cut off when Bakura gave him a harsh shove.

"You bastard. You stupid bastard." Ryou blinked back his surprise as he felt his body being pulled into a strong embrace.

"Bakura—"

"Shut up." Bakura held onto Ryou in silence, until finally, comprehending, Ryou returned the embrace. They stayed that way for a while. Being so close to Bakura, Ryou was again reminded of the earth's rich scent on a cool morning.

Finally, Bakura pulled away. He sighed. "You threw yourself right into the most dangerous situation imaginable. You almost died."

"But I didn't."

Bakura met Ryou's eyes with an unreadable expression. "No," he said. He turned away. "It could have happened, though. Easily. I have never been able to watch you from this world before—wherever this is—but then, in that moment, I could _sense_ your life was at a…crossroads. That you could lose your life any second. In my mind I could actually see you, I was there."

That explained why Ryou had heard and had even seen Bakura in those moments of danger. "So I wasn't imagining things."

"No." Bakura was quiet for a while, and Ryou wondered what was going on in Bakura's mind. The spirit of the Ring was rarely so pensive and rarely spoke so much. There was something very different about this encounter, and Ryou knew it. They both did.

"It didn't matter, though," Bakura finally said. "I was powerless to interfere. It was then that I remembered all those times in the past when I would just assume control whenever you were even in the slightest danger and I would take care of it. I always told you it was my way of paying 'rent,' but…" Bakura looked away. "I just wanted you to be safe. I would die a thousand times if it meant you wouldn't die once. That's what I was thinking. Today, I mean."

Ryou tried to smile. "And you say you could never be 'selfless.'"

"You're wrong," Bakura said. "I'm a very selfish person. I'm also dishonest, but this time I'm going to try to tell you the truth. My truth."

Again, Ryou couldn't help but feel a gnawing at his insides with the faintest impression that this was all going to go away.

"When I discovered that you were in a building with those shooters, it occurred to me that you could die. For a moment, I _wanted_ you to."

Ryou looked bothered. "_Why_?"

"It became clear to me that your death could mean that we…" Bakura trailed off. "Again, I'm a selfish bastard, and I acknowledge that. Then, as you stood up and volunteered to look out for the shooters, I had a sort of epiphany. You are so full of life, and you…you are a fighter. Your life shouldn't be ending when it's really just beginning. Just now you are stepping into this persona that isn't so scared and weak anymore."

_How can he see all this?_ Ryou wondered. _The whole time I was in that situation I was terrified. I __**wanted**__ him to be there._

"It was then that I realized that you don't need me anymore." Ryou noted the odd expression on Bakura's face. It was of sadness. "It didn't matter whether you could see me or not that day, because you didn't need to. You can fight your own battles now."

"That's not _true_," Ryou said emphatically. "Don't you realize that every second I was in danger I was _trying to be you_…?" With vision blurring, Ryou remembered when the shooter he encountered in the empty room pressed a gun to his head and almost forced him into sex. "When that man tried to…" Bakura nodded so Ryou didn't have to say it, "…the whole time I was telling myself, 'Be like Bakura. Be like Bakura.' I wanted to be strong and fearless _because of you_."

Bakura seemed to process this, debating on his next words. "When we were first 'introduced' to each other"—here they both exchanged a knowing glance, for their first encounter had not ended well—"we were complete opposites. Day and night. And I look at you now…" Bakura steadily met Ryou's eyes and Ryou couldn't help but note how his eyes were a warm mahogany, "…I see someone who is no longer my opposite. Because you have inherited my best qualities."

Ryou began to shake his head, but Bakura continued, "Despite my corruption and wickedness, I still had assets that you needed. When you were scared, I would be brave. When you were timid I was loud. Obnoxious, really," Bakura's lips curved slightly—his familiar crooked smirk without the malice. "You are no longer a shell of a person. I'm…happy for you."

Ryou felt his heart pounding in his chest as he watched Bakura slip the Sennen Ring off. He had a feeling that this was Bakura's proof to the universe that he was ready to finally die.

Carefully, Bakura held the Sennen Ring out to Ryou. "When you wake up, I want you to burn this to the ground." Bakura's eyes shone like a dying sunset and Ryou felt tears choke his own words.

"B-Bakura, _no_, I…"

"Ryou." Ryou paused in shock, noting that this was the first time Bakura had ever said his true name.

"I want you to _burn_ it, and then bury it." Bakura's grip loosened on the Sennen Ring as it spilled into Ryou's outstretched hands.

"And then…" – Ryou suddenly realized that he was about to wake into the real world soon, the tugging at his mind was becoming more insistent— "I want you to leave it behind and forget about it. Move on."

Bakura's hands gently closed around Ryou's. It was the last time their eyes met, and for once, their emotions were in sync. They both had changed, Ryou and Bakura, and one no longer was crippled with fear while the other was no longer crippled with hate.

"After you have lived a long life," Bakura whispered in Ryou's ear, "I will be _waiting_ for you."

* * *

Ryou rode the bus back to his hometown, Domino City, the next day.

Just within the few months of his absence, the city was beginning to change. They were little things, like new shops or closed roads, but Ryou figured within a few years Domino City would look completely different. Unrecognizable.

Ryou walked up a familiar sidewalk heading back to his old apartment, just as he used to hundreds of times before. This time though, Ryou noticed new things on this short path, because his whole life he was used to looking down instead of ahead.

Ryou walked up the familiar steps and travelled the familiar path to his old home. He could make the journey blindfolded, he was certain.

Walking in his old apartment, Ryou returned to a familiar emptiness. His father was not home, and the apartment looked dusty, as if it were uninhabited for a long time. Perhaps it was.

_The first time I was given the Sennen Ring, I was right there_, Ryou noted as he glanced at the small living room. From that time, it had been about ten years.

Gingerly, Ryou took the Sennen Ring out of his backpack. It glistened faintly in the weak sunlight filtering through the blinds. Although beautiful, it lacked the cryptic energy surrounding it when Bakura had inhabited it. The Sennen Ring was now just another piece of jewelry.

In the end, Ryou only hesitated a moment before resting the Sennen Ring into an empty metal trashcan. He retrieved a lighter from his pocket—the very one that helped save his life—and, carefully, slowly, he allowed the flame to catch onto the rope that used to be around Ryou's neck. For years.

The flame lithely travelled along the rope and caught onto the metal of the Sennen Ring. Within seconds, the flame engulfed the ancient artifact, and it occurred to Ryou that the Sennen Ring was able to burn because it _wanted_ to. The metal was nothing stronger than paper now, and allowed itself to be reduced to ashes.

And that was all that was left of the Sennen Ring. Just a pile of lifeless ashes.

_But it's okay_, Ryou thought, despite his tears, a little while later. He had just finished the hole into the earth that he had dug right outside his apartment. He had placed the ashes into a beautifully carved wooden box, the very same box his Ring had come in so many years ago.

Ryou's fingers gently glided along the smooth wooden surface a final time before he laid the box into the ground. Now Bakura can be one with the earth. Now he can finally be put to rest.

_It's okay_…Ryou thought again. He was now almost done piling all the dirt back over his hole in the earth.

_We're walking separate paths now, but I know someday—sometime later in this fate-riddled universe—we will cross paths again. _

Resolutely, Ryou threw a final fistful of dirt on top of the earth, on top of the ashes, on top of Bakura's much-awaited grave.


End file.
